Lessons Learned from a Brand New Coach's Wife

Lessons Learned from a Brand New Coach's Wife

I’ve only been a coach’s wife for a few months, and it has been a true culture shock to me.

I’m learning each week what it takes to be a supportive wife to my husband as he pushes further into football season—and prayerfully playoff season.

I wasn’t around much when my husband and I dated and became engaged, due to living in different areas of the state. So, when we married in June, I had two weeks (PTL for dead weeks) to adjust to a new town and a new role as a coach’s wife.

I’m now several weeks into the season and I’ve learned a lot through my own experience and talking with others who are going through the same thing as me. Sisterhood at its finest.  

Here is what I’ve learned in the few months I’ve been a coach’s wife:

  • It’s okay to cry. My poor spouse has seen enough tears to water our plants for a year. Frustration builds quickly.
  • You don’t have to sit in the stands. You need extremely tough skin to withstand the banter coming from other people in the stands. Try to find an area where you can enjoy the game with friends and family. If you have kids, behind the end zone is a great place to place a lawn chair and let the kids run.
  • People know you, even if you don’t know them. Your last name is well-known. You are associated with the sport everywhere you go.
  • Learn to be flexible. There are times when we make plans to hang out at home or go eat, but then he gets a phone call from a player asking to unlock the weight room or another coach calls to discuss plays or how practice went. I’ve learned to use these times to start laundry or to clean the house so that when he is done, we can go back to spending quality time together.
  • The field house is home. I don’t know why we pay utility bills during the fall, because we are hardly home to use water and electricity. My husband puts more hours in at the field house than I see him in our own home.
  • Laundry must be done every week. Does anyone else have to wash game day clothes the night before the game because they forgot to do it the weekend before? I’m debating on buying an extra set of pants and shirts next season, so we always have a backup.
  • Meal prep or starve. We love to eat in our house. In order for us to function throughout the week we plan out our meals for the week and ALWAYS make sure we have leftovers for lunch the next day. This makes grocery shopping easier and our budget more appealing to the eyes.
  • Other wives are your friends. Only friends probably. Most—if not all—of the coaches have a family at home who are going through the same thing. Or they are seasoned veterans. THEY ARE YOUR FRIENDS. Make plans to eat together during the week, sit together at games, or just give them a call to share stories. I am so grateful for my relationships with other wives and family members.
  • The players and coaches are now family. They know you and you know them. You support them and cheer them on. Make it a point to know their names and say hello on and off the field. They’re all your family no matter the season.
  • Work is never finished. Does anyone else wake up at 2:00 AM to the sound of a pen writing on paper? Hudl needs to be offline during certain hours so we can all get some sleep.  
  • Saturday mornings might be rough. Make cinnamon rolls. Whether we win or lose on Friday nights I always try to make breakfast the next morning. Cinnamon rolls are a favorite for my coach.
  • Times are irrelevant. “I’ll be home at 7:00!” HAHA YEAH OKAY. I’ve fallen for that trap before. Always add an extra hour or two to whatever time your spouse tells you.
  • The microwave is your friend. It comes in handy when your spouse has to heat up leftovers from dinner. They will thank you.
  • Scrap paper isn’t trash. NEVER clean out your coach’s car or “man cave” without their knowledge. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thrown away doodles of plays or breakdowns of film without knowing. Just leave the mess… or ask first.
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