There's a certain rhythm to life when you're raising kids in stadium bleachers and wrestling gyms.
My boys didn't learn to walk on soft carpet — they learned to run up and down football sidelines, tumble across wrestling mats, and nap in the backseat of a bus after games. That's life when your dad coaches not just one, but two sports.
And when you're a coach's wife, that rhythm becomes the heartbeat of your family.
For years, I was the one holding it all together behind the scenes—the wife in the stands, the mom juggling the calendar, the family anchor while my husband poured his heart into football players under the Friday night lights and wrestlers grinding through long Saturdays on the mat.
I wouldn't trade that life for anything. But the truth is—I quietly set aside my own dreams to be what my family needed. That doesn't mean I wasn't working toward something of my own. I worked full time, first as a paraprofessional, then as a behavior coach, and eventually became the MTSS Coordinator for our school district.
Each role was a step forward, but always within the boundaries of what my family's busy life allowed. I was building my career slowly, in the margins between games, practices, and parenting.
One thing I was determined about, though: I never missed one of my boys' varsity high school games. Not a single one. Both of my sons played football for their dad, and watching them take the field while he coached from the sidelines was something I will cherish forever. My father-in-law was one of my biggest supporters. He often attended events at other schools, filling in where he could, so I could stay in town and be present for my boys. His help was a gift I'll always treasure.
But I won't pretend it was always easy. There were seasons when I could only see myself in terms of the roles I filled—wife, mom, coach's wife. Those are the most important roles I've ever had, but they aren't all that I am.
It's easy to get so busy taking care of everyone else that you forget to care for yourself. That's why this next chapter means so much.
For a long time, I struggled with feeling "behind" because it took me longer to finish my degrees. I used to carry a lot of shame about that. But I've come to realize there's nothing shameful about taking care of your family and your people. That's important work, too.
Life doesn't have a deadline, and dreams don't expire just because they take longer.
Within the last two years, I earned both my bachelor's and my master's degrees. I completed my master's on April 23rd. This July, I'll turn fifty. Some might call it a late start. I call it perfect timing. Because while I was busy raising men, supporting a coach, and building my own path in education, I was also becoming stronger, wiser, and more determined.
I may have waited, but I never gave up.
Being a coach's wife means you learn to share your husband with many, but it also teaches you resilience. It teaches you that life has seasons, and sometimes your season of sacrifice becomes the foundation for your season of growth.
I want to encourage other coaches' wives who may feel lost in the busyness of it all: take care of yourself. Keep sight of the person God created you to be—not just to your husband, not just to your children, but to your community and to yourself.
You are more than the roles you serve. You matter in every way. To every wife sitting in the stands, to every mom balancing the chaos, and to every woman who quietly put her own dreams on hold: It's never too late. You are not forgotten. Your time will come. And when it does, you'll carry all the strength and grit you've built along the way.
Because coaches' wives? We're built different.