No Matter How Many Times You Move, Starting Over is Always Hard

No Matter How Many Times You Move, Starting Over is Always Hard

It’s been two months since we moved, but it feels like much longer.

This was the first time we moved willingly, instead of as a result of a head coaching change, so I thought it would be easier.

I thought because I had been through this multiple times before, I had learned from my past mistakes and knew how to handle it the “right way.”

I thought because we’d prayed about it and knew that God was telling us to go, that it wouldn’t hurt. But, I was only fooling myself.

If I’m being truly honest, moving stinks. Transitions are hard. It’s probably one of the only universal truths in life.

I’ve had to constantly remind myself of a lot of things to ease some of the pain:

1) It’s only been two months. I’m comparing a brand new beginning to a well developed end. It took me years to finally settle in each time we moved. You can not compare the two.

2) It’s okay to feel like you don’t belong now to either school or like you belong to both. It’s a strange feeling that most people won’t understand. You’ve invested a lot into your old school, it’s not like flicking a switch and it’s off. It’s also not like coach takes a new job and *flick*, it’s on.

3) Even though this is the right path, it doesn’t mean there won’t be difficulties. The right path is almost always the harder one in life, transitions are no different.

4) Everyone is going to want you to be okay and settling in well. It’s great if you are, but most likely it’s tough. You’re going to feel uncomfortable, you’re going to feel out of place, you’re going to feel lost. Again, there is no switch. There is only time.  It’s a daily struggle and it’s not going to be fixed instantly. There is also a difference between putting one foot in front of the other, moving forward, doing what you have to do to be okay, and just putting on a brave face so you don’t offend anyone.

Leaving a town, a school, a house, and friends willingly has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Transitions are painful and extremely stressful, no matter how many times you’ve done it before.

I am trying to acknowledge the daily victories, like my child made his first friend or I found a dentist that doesn’t have a 6 month wait. With each small victory, it gets a little easier.

There is no on/off switch to transitions. It’s more like a dimmer, raised slowly, and over time, you see the light.


Jess Gilardi is a lacrosse coach’s wife living on the East Coast. They have three young kids and have been living this life since 2004. She was a mental health therapist in the school system before becoming the full time chaos coordinator for the family (a.k.a. stay-at-home mom). Jess started writing, hoping that by sharing her stories and lessons learned, she might help others learn “the easy way.”
Back to blog