Eric Church is one of my all-time favorite singer/songwriters. One of my favorite songs is Over When It’s Over. As the 2024 football season comes to a close, this song rings true time and time again.
There has been a lot of change in my life, going from Mrs. Coach to Ex-Mrs. Coach has been more than heartbreaking. It was like I was cast in a reality TV show, I never auditioned for.
Quite frankly, I am still waiting for Ashton Kutcher to come out of nowhere and with the cameras from Punked. The short version of this story is that he cheated, and it snowballed downhill from there in the worst possible way. Luckily, I got out pretty quickly with our children.
Now that things have officially wrapped up, I feel comfortable enough to say to the wife struggling- there is life after football and being Mrs. Coach.
Being Mrs. Coach, it is not a job for the weak. You are basically a married, single parent for a lot of time during the year. The more successful your coach is, the more single you are. I can honestly say that it never bothered me.
All I ever asked was that he do his best and be faithful to me. In the end, I found out during our marriage he was never faithful to me. As much as I wish I could say that I was surprised, honestly, deep down inside my heart and gut, I wasn’t.
What did hurt the most was watching other coaches’ wives defend him time and time again and run my name through the mud. Like excuse me, were you not just my friend holding my hand a month ago, praying for the Lord to comfort me and keep my marriage together? Were you not the same woman who called my husband horrible names? Were you not the same woman who told me he would not be on staff next year? Yes, yes you were.
So here is what I can tell you: when you think it is over in your marriage, first, try hard to stay together. Please promise me, you will try. Pray for your marriage, communicate, and seek counseling. There are going to be tough seasons, but do your very best to stay together.
I can honestly tell you I did all those things, but it takes two willing people to put their life back together. When I finally walked away, I had absolutely no regrets because I tried so hard to keep our marriage together. He did not.
When your marriage is in trouble, keep your friend circle small. Get it as small as possible quickly. Start kicking people out as soon as you see that red flag or have that bad gut feeling. Don’t wait, cut ties immediately. Block them from everything. You can change your mind later.
I learned the hard way that people you think are your friends in the business are not. They will look out for themselves every single time because no matter how much they try to disguise it, winning ball games is always more important because it pays the mortgage.
Please remember that every season, even the toughest ones, has a purpose. In God, no season is ever a losing one. Everything, even one where you are contemplating divorce, can be used by Him to lead you closer to His purpose for your life and His plans for you.
You cannot skip the hard times.
In the end, I made the best choice for myself and my children. I left. Here is what I can tell you about divorce from the Biblical sense: God grants you permission to walk away when there is sexual immorality, physical, emotional, or verbal abuse, addictions, and/or threats of harm.
Remember, there are going to be tough seasons, and as much as we would love to, you cannot skip them.
Marriage unites two selfish sinners together. Please do not walk away from your marriage just because you are in a tough season. It is not worth it, and you will regret it. You have to actively and intentionally discover God’s beauty in each season.
Choose to give thanks each day. God is faithful in dryness, lonely, and hard times. I pray that you can find peace and hope from this article because, Mrs. Coach, you deserve it.
