Winning or losing, it’s the name of the game.
Right now, we find ourselves in a losing season. And we’re only four games in, so I’m certainly not giving up the ghost. There is still a lot of season left to play, and I still believe in this team.
But if I’m being honest, this is not the start we were praying or hoping for. And through these first four games, the negativity has been loud. Parents putting down other players. Parents criticizing coaches. Disappointment that seems to fill every conversation.
The weight of the world can feel heavy, and my husband’s disappointments seem never-ending.
As his wife, I feel those disappointments too. I find myself taking little moments wherever I can just to breathe. A deep breath in the stands. A quiet moment at home. A few seconds to remind myself that this is just a season, not our whole story.
Being a coach’s wife is hard enough as it is. You watch someone you love pour their heart, time, energy, and soul into something, and when things aren’t going the way they hoped, you hurt with them. Then you add a few losses on top of that, the criticism, the pressure, the emotions… and sometimes it feels like our cups are simply empty.
Maybe this is where holy indifference comes in. Not indifference as in not caring. Because we care deeply. We care about our husbands, our teams, our players, our families, and the work being done.
Holy indifference is learning to hold all of that with open hands. It is saying, Lord, I want this to go well. I am praying for wins. I am praying for my husband. I am praying for these players. But I surrender the outcome to You.
Because as coaches’ wives, we can so easily take ownership of things that were never ours to carry.
-We cannot control the scoreboard.
We cannot control what another parent says in the stands.
-We cannot control a player’s performance.
-We cannot control the decisions made on the field.
-And we certainly cannot carry every disappointment our husbands bring home.
What we can do is love our husbands, encourage them, pray for them, support our families, and choose peace when the noise around us gets loud.
Holy indifference reminds me that my job is not to make everything turn out the way I want it to. My job is to be faithful with what God has actually placed in my hands and trust Him with the rest.
-So when the losses come, I’ll breathe.
-When the criticism gets loud, I’ll try not to absorb it.
-When my husband is disappointed, I’ll love him without trying to fix everything.
-And when I feel my cup getting empty, I’ll remember that I don’t have to fill it with a win.
I can take it back to the One who does the filling. Because maybe surviving a difficult season as a coach’s wife isn’t about learning not to care.
Maybe it’s about learning to care deeply without carrying what belongs to God.
Four games do not define this team.
A losing record does not define my husband.
And this season does not define us.
So we’ll keep showing up, keep praying, keep cheering, and keep surrendering the outcome. One game at a time. One breath at a time. One open hand at a time. All while blasting “Wide Open” by Jesus Culture any chance I get!
Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and he will show you what path to take.”
***This space is about supporting the women behind the sidelines. We’ve created a few favorite wear-on-repeat pieces inspired by this life, just in case you want to check them out!***