The Coach's Wife Community [Join us!]

There is really no way around it. Being a coach’s wife is a challenging and often thankless job. You can even feel unseen and insignificant from time to time (or almost all the time).

You do all the things to keep the family side of things going-kids' activities, play dates, birthday parties, piano recitals, family gatherings, etc. You remember all the holidays and birthdays and you do all the planning, buy all the gifts, make all the treats. But you also show up for (most of) the team things too. You cheer on the players. You socialize with the parents and fans. You entertain the kids, carry all their snacks, and keep them from getting into trouble. And you do all of that while trying to pay attention to the game. 

It can feel like a nonstop blur of sacrifices and burdens.

I used to believe that I had it all figured out. Before meeting coach, I had my life mapped out. I loved plans, and I loved a routine. But as we all know, that doesn’t work well with the coaching lifestyle. I have found that my coach’s wife story is one of consistently never being where I wanted or thought I should be but always being where I needed to be. When I was young and new, I ignored the helpful advice of others who had been there, and it caused me years of unnecessary additional difficulties.

These stories and blogs might not be 100% relatable, but we share them for encouragement. We hope that they aren’t just stories but that they can be lessons that help you learn some truths for a path to peace in this crazy, unpredictable lifestyle. We write the elements of our own stories so we can process and understand them.

But, they are not just for our own benefit. It could just be the encouragement or advice YOU need to hear.

Our community is like no other. Just like how we support our coach and his players through the game's ups and downs, we can do that for each other too. No matter what level, sport, area of the country, or your coach’s title, we share a lot more in common thanks to this lifestyle than we don’t.

I will be the first to admit that nothing beats a fantastic wife group at your current school. I am fortunate to have been surrounded by, learned from, and supported by some of the most amazing women in the industry. That isn’t the case for everyone, though. I realize that it is rare to feel included and comfortable enough to open up to the wives in your immediate circle.

That is why we need to surround ourselves virtually as well. Not only to fill the void if your local community isn’t exactly as you’d like it but also because when it comes down to it, there are just some things that you can’t talk to your local ladies about until it’s a signed deal.

So whether you have selective memory and only remember the good (or the bad), you are new to the lifestyle and want to get a grasp on what may lie ahead, or have gotten knocked down too many times to get back up on your own, this is our invitation to you to create a beautiful and supportive community around shared experiences-the good, the bad, and the uniquely coaches’ wives.

After reading the blogs, things won’t automatically get better, and this life won’t instantly get easier. But we hope that all that we have learned in the storms that come from this life will help make your journey a little less tumultuous. One of the greatest lessons I have discovered after almost 20 years is that I prefer learning from other people’s stories to the hard way myself.

So, what are you waiting for? Join us!

Jess Gilardi is a lacrosse coach’s wife living on the East Coast. They have three young kids and have been living this life since 2004. She was a mental health therapist in the school system before becoming the full time chaos coordinator for the family (a.k.a. stay-at-home mom). Jess started writing, hoping that by sharing her stories and lessons learned, she might help others learn “the easy way.”