The Life of a Football Coach’s Wife: What You Don’t See Behind the Friday Night Lights

The Life of a Football Coach’s Wife: What You Don’t See Behind the Friday Night Lights

Being a football coach’s wife is a unique journey, one filled with highs and lows that most people don’t fully understand.

From the outside, it might look like a life filled with excitement and team spirit, but the reality is a bit more complex. The truth is, this life requires sacrifices, patience, and a deep love not just for my husband but for the sport that consumes so much of our lives.

The Long Hours and Lonely Nights:
Football isn’t just a game in our household; it’s a lifestyle. During the season, and even long before it begins, my husband spends countless hours immersed in the sport. It’s not just about the practices and games—there’s film to watch, plays to analyze, and strategies to develop. This means a lot of time spent alone, eating dinners for one, and falling asleep with the TV on, waiting for him to finally make it home.

The loneliness can be overwhelming at times, especially when I see other couples having a more traditional family life. But I understand that his dedication to the game is part of what makes him who he is, and I wouldn’t change that for the world.

A Second Family of 100+ Kids:
As a coach’s wife, you don’t just marry a man—you marry a team. Those 100+ kids who pour their hearts into the game each season become an extension of our family. We cheer for them, worry about them, and share in their triumphs and disappointments. When one of them is hurting, we’re hurting too. We open our hearts to them, knowing that, in many ways, they depend on my husband just as much as I do. It’s a unique bond that can be incredibly rewarding and also emotionally draining.

The Stress and the Sacrifice:
Football season is not just a physical grind but a mental one, too. The pressure to perform, the expectations from the community, and the endless cycle of winning and losing all take their toll. When my husband is stressed, I feel it, too. It’s hard to watch someone you love give everything they have to something, only to face criticism from those who don’t see the sacrifices being made behind the scenes. The missed events, last-minute changes in plans, and countless days spent alone are all part of this life.

There’s a constant balancing act between supporting his career and maintaining our family life. Sometimes, it feels like I’m coming second to the sport, but I’ve learned to be okay with that. It’s not always easy, but I’ve come to understand that his passion is what drives him and, in turn, drives us forward.

New Beginnings and the Unexpected Joys:
Change is a constant companion in this life. New schools, new teams, new communities—each transition brings its own set of challenges. It’s not always easy to pick up and start over, but there’s also a certain thrill in the unknown. Each new place offers new friends, new experiences, and new opportunities to grow. Through it all, I’ve learned that home isn’t a place but the people you’re with. And no matter where football takes us, we always find our way back to each other.

No Regrets:
Despite the challenges, the lonely nights, and the sacrifices, I wouldn’t change a thing. Being a football coach’s wife has taught me resilience, patience, and the importance of love and support in the face of adversity.

It’s a life that not everyone understands, but it’s one that I’m proud to live. After all, it’s not just about the game; it’s about the life we’ve built around it, one play at a time.

 

Allison is a varsity head football coach's wife residing in Northwest, Ohio. After meeting in high school, her and her husband began dating and have been together for 14 years, married for 5. Her husband has been coaching football for 11 years, and currently holds his second head coaching position. When they aren't in football season, they enjoy spending time with friends and family, and relaxing nights at home with their two french bulldogs, Pino and Bruno. 
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