Let’s say you’ve just moved to a new place and loneliness is your companion. There are lots of things to handle logistically, and it would be great to have a trustworthy friend on site to help you find a pediatrician, choose a church, or even to meet for coffee! But more often than not, the reality of the coaching journey doesn’t include a ready-made supportive community.
So, how can you make a friend ASAP? How do you know if it’s “safe” to open up to someone with little or no time to build relational equity, while also knowing that you might not even be in the same city next year?! Learning to love freely and trust wisely is a balancing act for many coaches’ wives. However, we know that God created us for community, so living in isolation was never His design.
How did Jesus do it? He moved around a lot. He healed and fed thousands of people, and many knew who He was. But there were 12 core disciples, and three of them- Peter, James, and John- were in His inner circle. Of those three, John was “the disciple whom Jesus loved” (John 21:20). However, His three best friends fell asleep on Him in the Garden of Gethsemane (Matthew 26:36-38), not to mention the betrayal by His disciple Judas. (Matthew 26:47-50)
Although we may not understand the dynamics of all these relationships, we can observe a few things:
Jesus loved and served many: the masses.
Jesus lived life in community: the 12 + other followers in the group.
Jesus was vulnerable with a few: the 3.
Jesus ultimately trusted God: the 1.
As coaching families, we are naturally in a position to serve the masses, but there is freedom in knowing that we don’t have to be best friends with all the players’ parents, nor do we have to be closed off and skeptical of every new person we meet. Even though the coaching family might be under a microscope and experience the pressures of criticism, among other things, there are amazing people to meet along the way, and we don’t have to be vulnerable with everyone.
Our goal is simply to love freely and trust wisely.
At the end of the day, we know that coaching is truly more than the game- it’s about the people, the impact, the communities, and every single player and parent we come in contact with. Relationships are messy, and they come with disappointments. Even though Jesus knew He would be betrayed, He never stopped loving, even to the end, but His trust remained focused on His Father.
***This space is about supporting the women behind the sidelines. We’ve created a few favorite wear-on-repeat pieces inspired by this life, just in case you want to check them out!***