We all know there are certain expectations placed on the shoulders of coaches' wives in our communities. Some of us are really lucky and have eyes on us as a result of our own career choices as well. We are expected to keep smiles on our faces, be polite and respectful, and suck it up if someone dislikes our husband or his calls on the field.
We have to walk careful lines at home too, because we really do want to be supportive but often find our patience wearing thin. This means filtering our thoughts on social media, watching what we say at the grocery store, keeping ourselves in check on the sidelines, and even editing our first responses to our husbands’ texts.
For the sake of staying married, keeping our jobs, and being able to feed our children, we often cannot say what we really mean.
So here are a few phrases that a coach’s wife might say, decoded.
"I’ll see you after the season."
This one is beyond accurate. The rule applies to both friends and family. Exceptions to the rule include: visitors who don’t mind if my teeth aren’t brushed or my children aren’t wearing pants, free babysitters, anyone coming over to clean the house, or those with supper in hand.
"That’s an interesting suggestion. I’ll definitely mention it to Coach."
I will absolutely not be telling my husband what plays you think he should be calling or who you think should be on the field. Thank you, next!
"I know; it’s been forever since we talked. We should really get together more often."
I would call but I’m thinking that you don’t want to listen to my kids screaming in the background, me complaining about another Sunday afternoon spent watching film and painting the field, or me crying about how guilty I feel because I’m ready for the season to just be over already.
"No problem, we would love to visit on Sunday after church."
My kids haven’t seen their dad all week, we have no clean underwear, and I’m pretty sure something is growing in the sink. I would really prefer not to spend the two hours that we have together as a family this weekend at your house.
"Bless your heart!"
This particular phrase can mean a multitude of things. It can be code for, You have no idea what you’re talking about, I really wish you would just go away, or really any curse word that might creep on the tip of a coach’s wife’s tongue.
"The game is away this week. I’ll probably just stay home and relax."
I will in all actuality be riding around with my Sonic Dr. Pepper and my kids will be watching Frozen in the backseat until it’s time for baths and bed.
"Sure, babe, I’ll see you in thirty."
We both know darn well that we can add two hours to whatever time you say I’ll see you. A for effort, though!
"Yes, my darling husband, go hang out with the rest of the coaches and watch that game tonight. Have fun!"
When you get home, you’ll be lucky if your key works.
"Maybe you should take the kids to see your mom."
Get everyone out of this house and away from me before we all end up being a Dateline story.
"I hope we go all the way!"
We better darn well go to State or lose in the first round, because I am not wasting my time and energy just to lose in the quarters.
Keep on trucking and keep a smile on your face, girl! The next time you want to open your mouth to tell someone where to go, remember that you have Christmas gifts to buy and a car note to pay. Y'all need to keep your jobs.
Remember, though: no one is perfect, they can’t read your mind, and Jesus forgives our sins.