We just hosted the entire team at our house for the first time. Coach and I have been discussing this- what we would do and not do- from the beginning. I was 19, and he was 22 when he first became a coach, so we took our time to get to this place. Twenty seasons, to be exact.
We've hosted the freshmen to welcome them to the team. We've hosted the seniors to thank them for all that they've done for the program. But never the entire team.
Luckily, my husband is a lacrosse coach, so it's only 50 boys instead of the 100+ on a football team. But still, that's fifty 18-22 year old boys. They eat a lot. They make a lot of noise. They leave a lot of mess.
But what meant more to me than all the "What can I help you clean up?" and "Thank you for having us." was the time taken to talk to my kids and me.
They spend an insane amount of time with my husband. More than my kids and I do, in fact. So it was great to have them take an interest in us, the ones supporting their coach, so that he can be focused on them and their development.
Was it picture-perfect? Absolutely not. That's not my style. I didn't have fancy cutlery or a theme with decor. Don't get me wrong, if that's your style, that's amazing. The best way to be a coach's wife is to do it your way.
What I'm saying is to not lose sight of what these get-togethers are actually about. It's not about providing a perfect backdrop for a social media post.
It's about providing a place for them to get to know each other and develop bonds, friendships, and chemistry. It's about giving them a chance to be brothers because they spend so much time competing for things like playing time and scholarship money.
The team's chemistry can make or break the potential. If it's toxic, it can be what pushes everyone over the edge after a loss or two. If it's healthy, it can be what inspires them to keep going, never accepting defeat until the clock hits zero.
But even more important than all of that, it can create lifelong bonds and a community that supports and encourages each other well after they've hung up their jerseys and turned in their helmets.
Unbreakable bonds being created through authentic time together so that when things get hard, or losing seems more frequent then winning, the negativity won't take over.
It's about letting them know that they are more than a set of numbers and stats to us. While the rest of the world might only care about them when they are producing or preventing points, that's not our primary interest in them.
It's about letting the boys see a well-rounded man whose whole world doesn't rest on a game, even when his family's livelihood is on the line. They see that he comes with baggage (that’s us!) and get a better idea what he’s like without his khakis, polo and a whistle in hand.
So whether you have the most fantastic balloon arch to welcome them in or just a bunch of folding chairs and tables lacking tablecloths, remember what it's really about.