"You earn the right to speak into a life through similar experiences."
When I heard this quote, I immediately thought of you all. I am a coach's wife at the beginning of her 21st season. And let me tell you, I've experienced some things.
If there were one thing I wish I could speak into your life, it would be this- "What you focus on is what you get."
I am not saying that you can't be frustrated, upset, tired, and/or angry because he's gone again, missed an important moment, and/or left you to carry the extra load at home night after night, season after season.
But there's a difference between venting to get it out of your head and off your heart versus dwelling in the negativity until it takes over your outlook on life and corrupts your soul.
Yes, there are many downsides and sacrifices a coach's family has to make for him to do his job right. And when we first started out, all I could see were the negatives. I focused on the sacrifices and inconveniences that came with the job.
And that's what overtook my days, months, and seasons- negativity.
But as my kids have gotten older and become more aware of how different their dad's job is, trying to help them focus on the perks has helped me, too. It doesn't ease the burden, but it sure helps you get through the hard times.
The big things:
- A team of players that take the time to know and care about your kids.
- An extended family in the parents that you can turn to for advice and help, if necessary.
- Sisters, far and wide, who you can call on if you need someone who can understand what you are going through.
- A chance to be an active partner with your husband as he fulfills his calling to shape and mold the next generation.
The little things:
- Access to athletic trainers in case one of your kids gets injured (I've used this more than I would like to admit).
- Free tickets or entrance to other sporting events at your school.
- The ability to run out onto the field after a game.
- Cute gear.
Do these bonuses offset all the craziness we, as coaches' wives, are put through on a daily and seasonal basis? No, not even close.
But what they do is tip the scale just enough to the favorable side to make this lifestyle manageable.
If you are struggling right now, let me leave you with one more quote I heard recently, "I've been where you are, and you don't have to step on the same landmines that I did. That's a waste of time."
Focus on the perks instead of drowning in the sacrifices.