When the scoreboard doesn't reflect the effort, the heart, the time, and the love poured into a team, that's often when the bleacher coaches and social-media football experts show up and speak the loudest. In these seasons, I need the biggest reminders of why we do this, why it is truly a calling, and why the long hours matter.
I created this list to give myself — and maybe some of you — perspective and encouragement when doubt creeps in.
Things I would NOT have without football:
• My oldest children. We housed these two because of the relationship forged through football. They became our kiddos and will always be part of our family, a gift I never could have imagined without this sport.
• My village. These women care about me and check on me constantly. They are my sisters, my sounding board, and my lifeline. I couldn't imagine life without them, and I have them because of football.
• My fellow coaches' wives community — local and far. Some of our local CWs are part of my village, and I can reach out to this larger network for love, support, and encouragement at any time. Again… because of football.
• Everlasting relationships. Those of us who have been around for a few years understand the joy of receiving a college graduation announcement, a wedding invitation, a baby shower post, or any bit of good news from former athletes. These kids hold a permanent place in my heart, and that doesn't end after football season or high school graduation.
• Relationships with current players. Now that I'm a teacher, I have a deeper understanding of how important positive adult relationships are for teens. I feel a new level of responsibility and privilege in the work we do on and off the field.
• The food. Our program and its parents feed our athletes multiple times a week. I actively participate, and it is one of the biggest ways I "fill my own cup." Team bonds are built off the field and strengthened on it; these meals are a beautiful way we do that.
• Sense of family and community. Families of current and past players, local businesses, and individuals support this program in countless ways. That support has created strong, positive bonds for our own family and deepened our roots in this town.
• My children's extended family. My kids feel like they have 50-plus older siblings. The relationships athletes have formed with my children over the years have shaped how my daughters, especially, see the world, teaching them resilience, empathy, and teamwork.
• Knowledge. Football has expanded my understanding exponentially — not just of the game and the inner workings of a program but also of people, leadership, and perseverance.
• Love. Football has shown me there is far more good in the world than the ugly we see on the news. It's revealed love in places and in ways I never expected, reminding me daily that kindness and service matter.
These are my reasons for continuing to choose this lifestyle. They're why I tune out the negativity, keep showing up, and pour positivity into our team and community.
Again, it's bigger than just X's and O's — it's about lives changed, families formed, and a legacy of connection that lasts long after the final whistle.