As coaches’ wives, we understand what it takes to support our families and often spend large portions of the year watching our partner coach young athletes as we parent solo. Most of us see this as a family ministry where we are creating an avenue for athletes to not only be developed as players but also into better people.
One of the first things I noticed about my husband was the strong values he embodies daily and expects his players to uphold. This is something I always admired about him.
Being new to the coaching world, I thought it was part of football. What I did not understand was how these coaching traits are present and visible among coaches, regardless of the sport.
As my own children have dabbled in different sports, having success with some and not with others, I noticed that youth coaches are unique and play such a pivotal role in an athlete’s life.
This got me thinking: what makes a coach?
- What is it that keeps them doing what they are doing?
- What drew them to their sport and coaching?
- What motivates them to continue?
I interviewed a few coaches, and here is what I learned: The first and likely the most obvious should come as no surprise: love of the game and an admiration for their own previous coaches called most into coaching.
What surprised me was a perspective from one coach recalling a negative experience from his senior year. This had such an impact on him that he wanted to rewrite that narrative for upcoming generations of players to have a lasting positive impact.
Another coach added to this and said he wanted to motivate athletes, help them understand the game, play hard, overcome adversity, and build character. “Coaching goes beyond teaching X’s and O’s because no player is just an X or an O—they are a person.”
At some point, playing sports takes a backseat in our lives. Our role as educators, coaches, and mentors is to use the game as a vehicle for life lessons. These lessons help build habits and a formula for becoming the best version of oneself. When everything comes together synergistically, we create great teammates, a culture of learning, and ultimately, a winning mentality both in games and in life.
It is the coach’s job to teach athletes what’s important now. How to be present in the moment and not look too far ahead. Stay grounded and move to the next play; there is always another play coming. “This mentality can translate directly to life; you must get to the next play.”
In addition to the above, as a girl mom, an important perspective I think we often lose sight of is the ability of female coaches to be role models to so many young women. “Being a woman in sports has its challenges, so it’s important as a female coach to show younger generations it is possible to play at a high level and it is possible to be athletic. Being someone they can see their future selves in is important to me.”
When asking why your sport (trying to understand what it was that made a particular area stand out), love of the game was again common. But also, for football, as many coaches’ wives have noted before, the team aspect is strong.
It is the most unique sport that is inclusive of different talents and all backgrounds. It is a no-cut sport that requires repetition, and everyone has to do their job and do their job well for success.
There are a lot of accountabilities, and while you are teaching players to be accountable, you are instilling a basic life skill while also coaching the fundamentals of the game.
A basketball coach, also a close family member of mine, said that after being a sideline sibling to her older sisters, she ultimately fell in love with the sport. The fast pace, the teamwork required to win, and the deep level of skills and knowledge needed to be a great player were something she always loved. “I think basketball is beautiful because it truly requires the team to play together in order to be successful.”
To be continued...