Your Coach, My Husband

To the Player on the Field, the Wrestler on the Mat, and the Parents Who Lend Them to the Coach:
You may not know me other than “the Coach’s Wife,” but please remember "Coach" is my husband.
I'd like to tell you a few things from my heart:

1. Your coach, my husband, truly cares about you. I hear stories about how your practice went, how your attitude has either been awesome or a bit off, so he’s worried you are struggling with something. He shares your accomplishments with me, his concerns for you and his excitement when you do well.
2. Your coach, my husband, prays for you. He prays for health and protection for you. He wants to see you succeed. He wants to see you doing well on the field, on the mat, in the classroom, in your walk through life.
3. Your coach, my husband, wants you to understand that while winning is awesome, it’s not the main goal he has for you. He wants you to learn that sports, just like life, are hard. Sports teach you that you must work, train, and struggle to attain your goal. You don’t get the prize just because you showed up. He sees things in you that you don’t see yourself. He sees your potential, the ability that must be nurtured. He sees that sometimes you have to be pushed to do better, so you don’t just “coast.” He wants you to be the best version of yourself. Sometimes that means he expects more from you. But, I promise he wouldn’t ask it if he didn’t think you could do it.
   
4. Your coach, my husband, puts in LONG hours. You think your day is long, but he’s there before you and stays late after you are gone. He prepares his lessons for his classes, but he also prepares things for practice, does laundry, tends to injuries, cleans up, mows the fields, and fixes the sprinklers or anything else that needs fixing. During the season, his days are generally 16 or more hours long and when he gets home, he’s tired, physically, and mentally. But he has things to get ready for you for tomorrow. So we sometimes don’t talk much because he’s focused on you, on his class, on making things better.
5. Your coach, my husband spends his own money on things for you. Food, shirts, entry fees, shoes, you name it, he’s paid for it for someone along the way. It’s who he is. It’s what he does. He’s never hesitated to do it.
6. Your coach, my husband, has missed family events, his own child’s sporting/school events because you had a game or a match. He tries to attend the other things you are involved in but sometimes time isn’t his friend and he can’t. But know he supports you in everything you do that isn’t directly related to his class or sport. He knows that the more things you participate in, the better for you. High School is a time to try out things, to learn what you are passionate about. So he encourages you to do more because that opens more doors for you.
7. Your coach, my husband, does what he does for the love of it, not the money or prestige. Sadly, in today’s world, the input & influence of teachers & coaches are not acknowledged or respected by most. They are discussed, dissected & torn apart in social media forums. The “bleacher coaches” are quite sure they know more than the ones in the trenches every day.
8. Being the wife and mom means there have been times where I have had to explain to my child why someone is saying hateful things about their daddy in the stands. There have been times I didn’t ignore it and spoke up to the naysayer. What he really wants from you is that you come to him so things can be discussed calmly. Don’t grab him after a difficult game or match and start hammering. It’s not how you would want to be treated, so please give him the same courtesy.
9. Your coach, my husband, loves what he does. He loves his subject, his sports, his athletes. He considers every one of you “his kids.” He has been the only father figure some kids have known. He takes that role seriously. He’s held the hand of scared kids; he’s hugged them when they got bad news. He has prayed over and with kids.  He has rejoiced in getting to marry some and has cried tears for those he led the service when they died. You will always have a place in his heart. Don’t take that lightly, please.

As this season continues, remember that there are those investing in you because they care, because you matter to them in ways you may never fully see, but I promise you will never forget.
Sincerely,
Your Coach’s Wife

Jana has been married to her coach for almost 43 years and considers herself to be his biggest cheerleader. She loves all his sports, but most especially wrestling. She loves writing, sharing encouragement and her two adorable grandkids.