“Why did that guy yell at you?” my 11-year-old daughter asked me after my 13-year-old son’s basketball game.
My response was simple: there are two different types of approaches to youth sports.
My husband has coached my son’s basketball teams for almost three years now. My husband also happens to be a college-level coach himself (for a different sport but with the same love for this game.)
My son started playing in fourth grade, and I can admit that I was shocked at the intensity and severity that these youth coaches exhibited. And don’t even get me started on the parents.
I was more than happy to let my husband use his very rare free time to coach my son and his friends because I wanted them to have a different experience.
Approach one (exhibited by this father in question at a church league basketball game) is to take it very seriously, expecting perfection and championship-caliber execution. They focus solely on their kid’s performance and scream critiques and instructions from the sidelines. We can call this the “youth bleacher coach” approach.
The second approach, which is our style, is to realize that youth athletics is about learning the game. Improving, yes, but it’s also about having fun. And this tends to annoy the people who subscribe to the first approach.
I was standing behind some parents from the other team and saying positive things to all our boys. They are my son’s friends. They are my friends’ sons. I want them all to learn and develop and, yes, have fun. That’s what creates the bond. That’s what leads to being brothers, not just teammates.
And, in all honesty, it’s just not that serious. This isn’t a game with a college recruiter in the stands evaluating their performances. That won’t come for a long time.
But what set this guy over the edge was when I cheered for a great call from the coach (my husband). Since he is a professional, he saw that we were about to lose possession and called a timeout. I yelled, “Great call, coach!” I am there for my son, but I’m also my husband’s biggest cheerleader too.
At the same time, this dad screamed at the referees that the coach had no right to call a timeout. After hearing me, he then turned to me to project his opinions.