“I don't understand the plan."
It was a defeated statement made by my coach. Since I know he always knows what to do on the field, I knew he meant something else. It was in reference to God's plan for all the setbacks he has been dealing with after what has felt like being knocked down, only to muster the energy and strength to get back up, only to be pushed backward and then knocked down again. And not just once, but pretty much every season for the last six years.
Nothing seemed to work, no matter how much planning, preparation, adaptation, and energy went into it.
Since I had been praying for him, and not just praying, but wrestling with God about why it had to be this way, what could He possibly be trying to teach him through all of this, I was always open to any and every answer God might try to give.
Then it hit me on Sunday as I sat in the pews and our pastor preached into my heart. "The plan" isn't about worldly success. It's about bringing as many people back to God as possible, and partnering with Him to do it.
And that's where my husband has been most successful. He has been an example of servant leadership to many, many people. Doing things the right way, not the easy way. He shows mercy where it might not be deserved, because he believes in second chances. He walks the walk of a "we over me" mentality, even when it could be unfavorable to him.
He has also been present with our family, leading and shepherding us in a hands-on, encouraging way. Because he hasn't been as successful as he dreamed of, he has been able to be present for our kids much more than other fathers in his profession. He has been nothing short of a beautiful, healthy glimpse of what our Heavenly Father is like. He doesn't need them to perform for him to love them and want to spend time with them. He loves them for who they are, but sees all the potential they hold inside and tries to bring it out of them. He has also been able to coach multiple teams for my son and his friends. And he has been a positive example in a world were youth sports has gone off the deep end of crazy.
He has also supported me in growing in my gifts of faith and wisdom so that I, too, can bring many, many women closer to God. With many more years of leadership experience than I have, he has been able to guide me through the ups and downs as I was getting my feet on the ground. He can also be a little more flexible and adaptable when I need him to pick up the slack. Taking off that stressful mental load of everyday family rearing gives me more energy and stamina for greater reach.
He wouldn't have been able to impact all those areas so profoundly if he were busy achieving and then maintaining the high level of worldly success he rightfully deserves. It might not be the answer he wants to hear, or you, for that matter.
But that's it. That's the plan. It's simple, but it's not necessarily always easy to accept.
We all want what we do to matter. We all want to see success come from our time and energy. Whether we admit it or not, we all want to have a purpose that stretches beyond ourselves and our lifetime. For a very rare few, that can happen by chasing fame and success. But that won't be the case for most of us.
When things aren't going how you wanted or think your effort deserves, remember that whatever you build here will eventually decay, be forgotten, or lose meaning. But if you partner with God in His plan, your efforts have eternal impact.
That's it. That's the plan. And honestly, I couldn't think of a better one than that.