In this multi-part series, we first were able to understand a coach's passion behind the why. We also have learned player expectations, what a coach looks for in their leaders, and how their own families are incorporated into the lifestyle.
As wives, we have become experts on dodging questions, the most popular of which is centered around playing time but also some about positions, how the team will do, and how safe WE think the game is, "Like will your own child play?"
First, what do coaches wish more parents and players knew going into the game? The most common response was for parents to be present and support their player. This means more to athletes than they will ever tell you, but it makes a difference.
The second is that as a parent, your words hold power and will impact your player. Focus on the great things your child is doing. You undercut coaches when you talk poorly of them. That takes away from your player's experience.
For players, serving your teammates will bring you more joy than anything you'll experience on the field or in a game. Find ways to help your team.
Let your coaches coach you. Remember, your coach teaches life lessons as they develop and coach the team.
I wanted to know what coaches thought about playing time, specifically when a parent asks about their child, especially when the player is not present. Not surprisingly, it was clear that playing time is a player issue and a conversation that should take place between an athlete and their coach.
Most coaches rationalized that when an athlete gets to the real world, they aren't going to be able to have their parents meet with their bosses to fight their battles. These difficult conversations should begin now with the safety of their coaches as this helps players learn to advocate for themselves, accept criticism, and, most importantly, build trust with their coaches.
Also, as parents, our kids are our greatest gift. When it comes to things we care deeply about, it's easy to let emotion get involved. Standards, such as parent and player codes of conduct, help set boundaries for potentially volatile conversations where emotions can take over logic.
"Parents have unrealistic expectations about playing time. When parents are not at practice and do not see what the coaches see, these expectations can be hard to manage."
"Oftentimes, players do not know their parents are asking about playing time."
And finally, to close out this series, I asked about the future and where each coach saw their sport heading over the next 5 – 10 years. It's interesting that as money infiltrates further down into lower-level sports, we hope these things do not skew the playing field and affect those athletes who are not able to play. Coaches hope for equitable playing fields that reach every socio-economic status for all to play.
But also, separate from money, sports can go wherever we take them. Coaches are nimble and adapt to the changes that are thrown their way. Just like their players, they must be willing to learn and grow every day, be humble, understand that there are always better ways to do things and be open to trying new things.
Coaching is fluid, and when old strategies and techniques are no longer successful, coaches can adapt and change to build a new culture and standard of practice.
To be continued…